Wifey.....
The
lifestyle offers a variety of experiences and a rollercoaster of emotions. Good and bad. As in “real” life we all
experience rejection & disappoint and yes drama from time to time….however in
the lifestyle…at least in my case all three
are rough to swallow & believe me I am an expert swallower..just
sayin
We all set ourselves up by having some sort of
expectation – something as simple as sending that first email to a new couple,
or meeting that new couple for the first time after many conversations. You
just never know how the other couple will respond or react. For a long time we only used a swingers
online site to search out new couples, which is a great tool. We have discovered the club scene….which is
an awesome way to meet people.
That being
said….we have walked into the club many times feeling hot & frisky, looking
for some freakiness...ok I am the one looking for freaky shit – my hubby just
likes to fuck…..but much to our dismay have spent the evening by ourselves…no
one even approached us…now don’t get me wrong…we did the deed upstairs in the
playroom which is always awesome…can’t think of anyone I would rather do than
my hubby……he is a hottie!!!!!!! Then there are those nights we walk in but
damn near have to crawl out in the wee
hours of the morning because we fucked our brains out & can barely
walk…..now that’s a good night.
For us…drama
is a killer. Everyone says they don’t do
drama…but at some point or another if you are in the lifestyle you will be
faced with drama of some sort I promise you. Because drama, whether its your
drama or another couples drama is
inevitable…the trick is to learn how to maneuver thru and past it, to not let
it interfere or effect you fun.
Don’t get me
wrong…we have had our fair share of drama in the past. Fuck – we had over the top drama with our
“exs”…..yes we did what we said we would never do..we went “steady” with
another couple for 9 months…..what the fuck where we thinking……..that’s a whole
deferent blog! Sometimes when you are in
the middle of the drama it is very hard to actually see the drama – you just
know you are frustrated in a world that is set up for pleasure.
Like us,
each couples needs to decide what they will & will not put up with and or
deal with. There are tons of swingers
out there, but somehow it seems like a very small community…we continuously run
into or have interaction with a couple who knows and or fucked the couple we
fucked last week….and from time to time that in itself creates drama…..we all just have to decide …..is a good fuck
worth the drama?????
Here’s a touchy subject for anyone who’s been in the
lifestyle for more than 15-20 minutes.
No matter how long you participate in the lifestyle, or to what extent
(soft, medium, or hell-bent-for-leather wild) at some point you will either
instigate or fall victim to drama of some sort or another. It’s right up there with death and taxes…
it’s inevitable and unavoidable. Which
begs the question, what do you do when you come face to face with drama?
In our early days in the lifestyle, I was far from the
poster child for the ideal male playmate, either for others or for my
Wifey. Yes, I am taking ownership for
instigating more than my fair share of drama.
And the greatest victim of my drama was Wifey. Between embarrassment, humiliation,
frustration and outright anger – that poor, wonderful, exquisite woman bore the
brunt it.
More recently, the drama in our lifestyle encounters has
been external to our foundational relationship (aka marriage). Since each incident is unique and brings its
own challenges, we have to work together to navigate through it – or decide
it’s best to look elsewhere for our adult playtime encounters. I am going to discuss only a single instance
that I’m sure many can relate to – caught in the middle between former
play-couples.
To protect the innocent, I’m going to designate each couple
as Mr&Mrs 1 and Mr&Mrs2. Each
couple in their own right is a great couple, fun for dinner dates, shopping,
and of course – playing. We have greatly
enjoyed our time with both, and would not hesitate to partake of them
again. But these two couples have
history, and unfortunately their history was still impacting their current
activities in ways they had not expected.
Wifey and I had met Mr&Mrs1 a few months ago and we hit
it off right away. Wifey and Mister1 had
instant chemistry, as did Missus1 and I.
We had both been open and honest about exclusivity and that our policy
was based upon experience that reinforced our initial inclinations. Yes, that means that we had both been burned
by dating a single couple exclusively.
As time passed, and we spent more time at our favorite
swingers club, we eventually “bumped into” Mr&Mrs2. Not all at the same time, mind you, but same
evening, same place, same circumstances.
Boy did we ever get some glares from Missus2! We felt more than a little uncomfortable, but
decided to get to know them ourselves rather than allow external forces to
determine our thoughts about this couple.
So a couple of weeks later, we were once again at the club and had the
opportunity to chat with Mr&Mrs2.
What a blast they were! Fun,
funny, just a nice couple to maybe spend time with – so we did. And as luck would have it, they found us to
be as nice and fun as we found them to be.
Yeah, and so it begins…
We had some friends in from out of state and decided to
organize a get-together at the club.
There were five couples and a single gentleman at the gathering, of whom
two of the couples were Mr&Mrs1 and Mr&Mrs2. Whoops!
Wifey and I found ourselves smack dab in the middle of something not of
our choosing between Mister1 and Missus2.
Now keep in mind that Wifey and Mister1 get along swimmingly and Missus1
and I have shared many a playful evening.
That was without Missus2 involved in the mix. Apparently Missus2 had lingering feelings for
Mister1 which presented as a touch of jealousy that Wifey and Mister1 had
struck up as playmates. What ensued was
comical at first and downright obnoxious as it continued. Missus2 and Mister1 would both
email/chat/text Wifey, putting her smack dab in the middle of whatever issue
was ongoing between them. This went on
for nearly a week before Wifey gave both Missus2 and Mister1 a virtual “bitch
slap” that she didn’t appreciate being thrown into their mess and either they
reached some resolution or Wifey and I would find others with whom to share our
bountiful desire for adult playtime.
Wifey and I had many a conversation prior to laying the
smack down on them. She was getting
frustrated and I was getting irritated that drama was impacting Wifey’s ability
to enjoy the lifestyle. We laid out
different options, selected one, and Wifey went to work – protecting her own
enjoyment of the lifestyle and our willingness to continue participating in
general.
Now, we don’t know what resolution, if any, was reached
between Couple1 and Couple2. What we do
know is that we still count them as friends and hope to enjoy time with them
SEPARATELY in the future.
Moral of the story?
Not sure there is one, beyond the foundation of participation in the
lifestyle must be the committed relationship you share with your partner. So long as you can communicate and work
together to deal with challenges, like drama, you can maintain a long and
satisfying dalliance in the lifestyle.
…..is a good fuck worth the drama?????
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